Your 'Scatter-in-Chief has a few things on his mind this morning, and what better way to share them than with my Tiger Scat faithful? So, if all eleven are you are paying attention, here goes:
---What's a metaphor for?
I've been tuning in to our local classical radio station, WQXR-FM, a lot lately. This past week, they've been running their annual Fall membership drive, and to sell the benefits of the station, at least one of the on-air personalities says things like, "You tune in to QXR because it soothes you, it settles your nerves, after all these are very unsettling times we are living in..." Now, without getting too political, they've deftly skirted around what they really want to say, which is: "We are your musical refuge from Donald Trump"!
This is not the only example, it's all over any other media that isn't associated with one agenda or the other, but I thought it funny how ideas, beliefs and opinions get communicated. Take, for instance, all of those "Hate has no Home Here" lawn signs. Not to criticize those of you who've planted one (or more) on your own expanse of green, I'm with you, conceptually that is, and I know your heart is in the right place. But, I think we need to add a line to that: "Except for Trump. We totally hate Trump." Just keepin' it real, folks. And while we're at it, a friend and I were discussing how this particular sign bothers us, on some level at least. First off, it's filled with negative language: "Hate". "No". Are these the ideas you want to broadcast to the world, and to your children who live in that hate-free home? I think it would be a nice change of pace to place a sign proclaiming that "Love Lives Here".
---CSW* Department (*Coulda/Shoulda/Woulda)
I've been a bit reflective this week, for no specific reason other than I'm a very deep and complex man, and whenever I get like this, I start to ruminate about the things I wanted to do in life, but I'm thinking it might be too late. I know that most of you will boost my morale by giving me the ol' pep talk, "It's never too late", "You're still young", etc etc. But let's face it kids, when you get to a certain age, your capacity for learning and retaining newfound knowledge or skills starts to seriously diminish.
This being stated, wouldn't it be nice if I suddenly found the money, energy and passion to do the following things in life that I've always wanted to do: Play the piano. Ice skate. Speak another language, fluently. And, properly identify birds, plants and trees. You could add to that the ability to properly execute an underarm fart, shuffle a deck of cards and whistle while using two fingers, but those could be easily mastered in a relatively short period of time. After all, it's never too late!
---I've been casually following the Columbia University football team for several seasons now, even attending a couple of games at their beautiful facility overlooking the Hudson River in uptown Manhattan. For any of you familiar with it, the football program is a perennial failure, with many teams in recent years either going winless or managing one or two victories in a season. But that's all changed this season, as the Lions have come out of the gate roaring with an untarnished 5-0 record, and making legions of crestfallen fans jumping out of their seats at Wien Stadium, which has been filled to capacity for home games. Last week, they came from behind to beat Penn in their homecoming game, and the final touchdown drive was a thing of beauty. Now the student body in Morningside Heights has something else to cheer about other than men's fencing and women's golf.
The Shaving Chronicles, addendum
---Finally, another bright spot to report: my recent discovery of what I think might be the best shaving cream ever. It's called "Cremo", and it fits in with the current trend of vintage barber-shop chic, with it's throwback packaging and kitschy product name. You only need an 'almond sized' portion rubbed into your stubbly tangle of whiskers; don't expect a big foaming event, this stuff does it's job via the 'moisturizing' approach, so it takes some getting used to. I've cut down on the nicks and scrapes and the stuff has a lovely peppermint scent to boot. Just another thing to like in these 'unsettling times'. Hey, maybe I'll make a sign and post it out front: "Cremo Lives Here!"